A cheating partner is one of the biggest fears a person has in a relationship. Infidelity can take everything you’ve spent years building and reduce it to a pile of smoking rubble in a matter of 2 or 3 hours. Contrary to what others may say, it can happen to anyone. No one is exempt. Men have stood on mountaintops and professed their loyalty to their wives only to find one sexy woman who would make him toss it in the garbage within a 5 minute period. Women have upheld their virtue with consistently solid faithfulness, only to have that one guy (that’s all it takes really) come along and crush that chastity belt like it never existed.
If you speak to the average woman they will say it’s the men’s fault. They will say that men have unquenchable sexual appetites and behave like dogs. It’s like they can’t control themselves. They have to have it. And if you were to ask men about infidelity they would undoubtedly place the blame on women.
Do they have to expose so much of their bodies? If she dresses like she’s available then you should treat her like that, right? The men will say that women hate on other women so much that they will openly compete for a “taken” man.
While both genders do have valid arguments, the majority of their reasons usually ring untrue. Men cheat because they want to. Women cheat because they want to. It’s as simple as that. Infidelity has nothing to do with the gender wars. It’s squarely on the individual.
Many people believe that infidelity would never happen to them. “My woman would never do that to me” is the silly statement you may hear any church going man say about his queen. And you would hear something similar from women. But when it comes to infidelity, anyone can cheat at any time.
There is always one person on this earth that will compel you to do something outside of your normal behavior. And that person could be met anywhere. When a person says they will never cheat on you, it’s usually a bogus promise. What they mean to say is, “I won’t cheat on you as long as I can”.
Most of us knows the consequences of infidelity; divorce, mistrust, sexual diseases, “outside” children and financial ruin. They all are pretty big dangers when we choose to move outside our faithful relationships and roll the dice with our genitals. I’ve known many men to cheat without regard for their mates. Most of them would openly agree that it’s sexual. And I’ve known many women to cheat as well. They did it for sexual reasons too and some did it as a form of revenge for their lover’s previous infidelity. But for the most part, the majority of the women I talked to did it because of a lack of affection from their man.
So if you’re in a healthy relationship, what can you do to prevent infidelity? How can you ensure that your lover won’t stray outside of your relationship for sexual or emotional pleasure? Here are the 5 things you can do to make sure your lover doesn’t cheat:
- Realize that your lover “can” cheat: There is nothing you can do to stop infidelity. It usually has nothing to do with you as a person and has more to do with a breakdown in communication in your relationship or the character flaws of the cheating individual.
There is no shield you can wear to protect you. There is no pill you can take. There is no special prayer you can say. We are all human and within that humanity are flaws.
- Talk regularly and openly: The largest cause of infidelity is a communication breakdown. Sometimes men aren’t as revealing about what their sexual fantasies are. And let’s be real about this women; sometimes women are too turned off to explore what those sexual fantasies are. But you can’t please your lover if you don’t know what lights their fire. You have to dig deep into the depths of their weirdest and most strange fantasies to know who they are. To be honest, this should be done before you marry a person but most men and women never find out until it’s too late. Sometimes men reduce intimacy to plain old sex every Thursday night after the children are asleep. Sometimes men forget that holding hands, cuddling, and complimenting their women is a part of what keeps the fire burning. Men have to be willing to explore what makes their woman tick. You can’t treat her like she’s a priceless vase every day. Women are more complex than that. Sure she’s priceless, but she’s also a human. And her needs are going to change just like a man’s needs change. But you have to talk about those things.
- Search for new ways: Being experimental is wonderful in a relationship. But it’s also a necessity. For the man or woman that wants everything done in the same way 7 days a week, they’re asking for infidelity to enter their relationship. People like to mix things up.
They like to keep it new. There are so many things to explore in love that you should be busy with a new path almost every week.
- Stop being jealous: Being jealous can actually push someone to infidelity. People get tired of being constantly doubted when they haven’t done anything wrong. You have no reason to constantly look in her handbags. You have no reason to try to see new numbers in his cell phone. If he or she is going to cheat, they are going to cheat. You can’t stop it. Deal with that issue if it arises. But if you don’t get a handle on your jealousy, your lover may cheat simply because it’s expected of him or her.
- Give space: “Am I in prison?” That’s what your man may look at himself in the mirror and say after too many days of being with you. If you don’t give your woman time to have her life with her friends, you’re asking for infidelity. Time apart has a wonderful way of making you wish you were with your significant other.
But it also has a way of revitalizing what’s old. You can’t miss what is next to you 24 hours and 7 days a week. So you take him or her for granted. No one is saying you need to have days apart or you should go out to clubs alone (I am not a fan of clubs). But if you want to watch the playoffs at your friend’s house, what’s the problem? If she wants to play poker with her girlfriends, I don’t see an issue with that. Everything needs room to breathe if it is to grow.
There is no cure for infidelity. Sorry folks. It can come at you during any time of day and at any moment in your life. All you can do is be the best partner that you can be in your relationship and hope you have chosen your partner well. It’s really on you…. or…. It’s not really on you.