Have you ever had someone insult your intelligence and although you knew better, you went along with it anyway? That is the definition of being “played”. When someone presents an obvious scenario in which they benefit, uses your love or caring as a shield to deflect suspicion, and ultimately gets more than what they wanted from you, leaving you the bigger fool for believing them.
Many people call it different things nowadays. Played, pimped, used; it doesn’t matter your choice of wording. It pretty much means that someone used you for their personal gain.
But why do people fall so easily for it? In a word, “LOVE”. Human beings are automatically born with a deep sense of belief in what we see and touch. And that belief is reinforced by our religious teachings and our society. “Believe in our words because we always have your best interest at heart.” That is what society tells us. It is why we rely so heavily on TV and Newspapers. “If it was printed in the paper, it HAS to be true!”
But as adolescence fades our beliefs are reconciled with reality. We begin to stop believing almost everything we see and hear. Instead, we begin to question.
So why do we fall for this trick of being played? Shouldn’t we grow out of it? Well to put it simple, sometimes we ignore common sense for our own selfish reasons. We want to believe.
We want to believe our lovers would never hurt us. We absolutely DO NOT want to believe that there is a selfish reason motivating them. I equate the feeling of being played to holding a handful of $20 dollar bills in your hand and a person that you have a reasonable amount of trust in, walking up to you and convincing you to throw that handful of money into a fire. “Don’t worry,” they tell you. “Your money will survive unscathed.” And like the most ignorant person on earth (which you undoubtedly are if you even consider it), you do it, going against all common sense. The feeling of being played is like the car salesman that told you that the car you were buying was as fast as a Maserati, but when you get home it magically ends up in your garage on top of an equally magical growing oil stain; never to be driven again.
Men play women. Women play men. That’s the way of the world. And for the most part, we all have been a victim at some point and time.
That’s what makes the act of being played so frustratingly beautiful. You know it’s wrong. It hurt like hell when it happened to you. Yet, you get a weird sense of joy when you pull it on someone else. Actually, I wouldn’t call it joy. That’s a stretch. But it is the equivalent of not taking your report card home for your mom to sign and instead signing it yourself and having the teacher accept the forged signature as legitimate.
So what are the most common ways that we play one another? Well, you all pretty much know them by heart but I’ll refresh your memory a little. Some of you haven’t heard these at all while more than a few have experienced them just last night. I won’t pick on any particular gender when I expose these common ways of playing people. I’ll equally choose for each gender. I’ll pick 3 for women and 3 for men.
Here are the 3 Ways in Which Men Play Women:
- It’s not about sex: Are you silly? It’s 99.9% about sex. He didn’t notice that sexy brain of yours walking down the street. Sex is the first thing men think about.
And you’d be better off to delay giving it to him as long as possible because if you give it to him without attaching a personality to that voluptuous body, you’re only giving him a fantasy. He will have no interest in knowing the person. It is his most important thing. American media knows it. Your dad knows it. And yes, you know it too.
- He wants to be unfaithful: Every single man on this earth would have a side chick if he knew his woman would accept it. Please DO NOT THINK YOUR MAN IS DIFFERENT. If he could get you to cosign it, he’d do it. He’s thought it all out too. We’re talking about sexual fantasies with your girlfriends played out in his head and which one he would target.
We’re talking about him keeping some form of communication with women you don’t know about (do you really believe men turn their phones off to save battery life). We’re talking about social media “buddies”. You see, most men won’t admit this but just as some women have a “backup” male in reserve in case they have to fire their man, men have backup women. Please don’t assume your man is different. He has a targeted individual he’ll approach if your relationship ever ends. That’s just real.
- He lies to you every single day: I don’t care if you work in the church. Your man has lied to you. TODAY! That’s right, I said it. TODAY! In fact, he does it every day.
Oh, I don’t think it’s a conscience effort to piss you off. No, I seriously doubt that. But there are so many things about women that are hard to dissolve on a daily basis. Men have a hard time with those things and would rather lie than to hear the blah…blah…blah…. So when a woman encounters a lie that is unbelievable coming from another person, she believes it coming from her man because he lies every day and his lie is so convincing. Practice makes perfect. The lie always sounds so convincing because your man has had daily practice in getting past the guilt.
And here are The 3 Ways in Which Women Play Men:
- “I want to get to know you as a friend first”: Yeah, that is true. She wants to get to know you. Without a doubt. But that is not why she wants to be your friend for months and months without sexual contact. She finds you attractive, but not attractive enough. She’s waiting for the next thing to come along that’s better.
A woman generally knows within 5 minutes if she’s going to sleep with you within a short period of time. “Knowing you” does play a part, but just like men, women have a sexual compass. If you’re not everything they want, they’d rather get you to buy drinks, talk on the phone with you, and wait for Mr. Right. That way they can say, “I told you, I only wanted to be friends” and not have a serious amount of guilt involved in pushing that statement out when they’ve found someone else. But it’s game.
- “I haven’t been with a lot of men”: Men always fall for that one. Men want to believe that in a place as scandalous as America that they’ve found that one true virgin hidden behind the counter at Macy’s. Sorry dude. Wrong. Your girl had a life.
Furthermore, if her skill is above average in the bedroom, she’s had more than a few. Actually they could probably fill several buses with the amount of men the average woman has been intimate with. Women are humans. And just like men, they tell lies and have been lied to. There are no true 29 year old virgins. If there are then they’re undesirable (to you at least) or they have some type of other motivation for keeping them that way. But if your woman has attended college, you can best believe there are several Johns, Pauls, Roberts, Michaels, or Richards somewhere in their history.
- She’s never forgiven you: Oh, you think because she says she’s forgiven you and things have moved on that your moment of dogism has been forgotten? Think again! She hasn’t forgotten anything. But you may also not realize that just like your favorite pub, she’s running a tab on you. Once that bill gets too large for her to tolerate, she’ll cash it out by dumping you. Women don’t forget a single thing. Why do you think men stink at remembering anniversaries and women are precise? Because they know the score. Watch your back.
These are the top 3 ways in which women and men play each other. I could’ve gotten deeper but I didn’t want to open too many wounds with my list. It could’ve gotten very nasty.