How to Get Rid of a Stalker


How many times do you need to say it?

About a month ago you made the mistake of starting up with this idiot. You were dancing in the club and the combination of music and flashing lights made him seem like he was a hottie.

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Who are you kidding? He was a hottie! He had a rear end that you could easily bounce a quarter off of. His rugged partially shaven face made him seem like he was cut directly from an Indiana Jones movie. Add that to the fact that the alcohol made his words sound like poetic verse and you fell without effort.

But that was a month ago. This is now.

Now you’ve had 3 dates and determined that you two just don’t mesh. He has all of the qualities that you DON’T want in a man.

What are they? Well for one, he’s rude. He’s been late to all of your dates. The fact that he was late didn’t really bother you too much. But what did bother you was the fact that he never apologized for it. Not once!

Another trait that killed the deal? He’s weird. When you first went out on a date he chose some crazy horror movie for you to see. You didn’t mind too much because maybe he just was hoping that the fear would create a girl-needs-protection type of moment to get a kiss (you gave him points for that actually). But the next time you went out he chose another horror movie. And another.

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He also has this really creepy way of stopping mid-sentence and staring at you. No “wait a minute” or “I’m trying to remember something”explanation. Just a long, plain, shirt full of ice cubes, Jason/Nightmare on Elm Street/Michael Myers type of spooky look.

He also has this weird way of revealing too much information. On the last date that you had he told you he caught gonorrhea 4 times in his life. Hello? TOO MUCH INFORMATION!

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And as if that weren’t enough to make you run for the hills, he told you that he has a weird fetish for wearing women’s dirty gym socks (that actually explained all of the questions he had about your shoe size when you first met).

During most of the conversations he belches mid-sentence. On the last date he farted when the two of you were walking in the mall and blamed it on the kid walking in front of you.

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He hates large families (which you currently belong to). He doesn’t want to have children (and you do). He drinks beer in the mornings and you discovered by accident that he is a high school dropout. You could go on with the list but you don’t need to. From what you’ve just listed they’re enough reasons to end a relationship with Brad Pitt.

So you sent him a text to end it.

No…. Scratch that. You sent him a text telling him that you were getting back with your old boyfriend and you thought that the two of you should just be friends.

What happened?

He showed up at your door with a wild look in his eyes, telling you about the connection the two of you had and how he was in love with you.

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He actually used the word “Love”.

What the $#@!…

After promptly closing the door and sliding several large library bookcases in front of it, you went upstairs to make sure he had cleared the yard. He was still there. One hour passed and he was still there. Two hours passed and he was still there. Finally after your roommate threatened to call the police he got in his car and drove away.

The next day he showed up at your job with roses. After you refused to speak to him and got your male coworker to go out and tell him to leave you alone, he took some Elmer’s Glue and glued the rose petals to your windshield. Then he left.

You get phone calls at least 10 times per hour on your cell phone. Your text message inbox all but blew up from his begging and pleading.

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Somehow he got the phone number to your parent’s house and called them to introduce himself as your boyfriend. After hours of explaining to your parents that you don’t have a boyfriend and that this guy is a nut, you fall into the bed and began to sob.

How do you get rid of this stalker?

If this situation is you, the first thing you need to do is take this seriously. Stalkers are not only the definition of selfishness and weirdness, they can be downright dangerous. Not being able to anticipate a person’s actions is a deadly situation to be in. Numerous people have lost their lives because they either underestimated an individual or misinterpreted their actions.

Getting rid of a stalker is no easy task. It often calls upon the person to leverage their friendships to push that invading individual out of their lives. It’s also very time consuming. You’re usually not going to remove a stalker within the first, second, third or fourth attempts. Removing them requires that you show a certain level of professional consistency to get the job done.

So how do you remove a stalker?

Here are 5 Ways to Get Rid of a Stalker:

  1. Let your position be known: You’ve probably told this individual a million times so this is really a job you’ve already performed.
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    But for one final time (and also for your record) send them an email and text message informing them of your wish to discontinue all communication and that you are no longer interested.


  1. Discontinue all communication: Once you’ve let this individual know that you aren’t interested, stop all communication with them.
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    Do not respond to any requests. Do not email or text. If you see them in a public setting get away as fast as you can and don’t speak.

  1. Let your friends know: Let your friends know that the dude is a stalker. Give them explicit details about his interactions with you and how he’s weirded you out.
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    Also let them know of when you stopped communicating and his persistence in not getting the message.

  1. Document everything: Write down the date you informed him to stop communicating. Document each instance in which he tried to speak to you.
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    If he calls and texts regularly, save those calls and texts. You’re doing this in case things escalate and you have to take legal action.

  1. Report him to the authorities: Go to your police station and file a restraining order against him. Let the authorities know how he has been stalking you.
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    Be specific. They will usually do everything they can to get this guy out of your life after that.