Why Won’t You Shut Your Big Mouth?

“Why is your mouth so big?”
Has your lover ever asked you this question? On the right night that question may be a cute question that lovers pose over a candlelight dinner. But for most of us, it’s usually a question that indicates that you talk too damned much.
This is not a gender-neutral issue. Both men and women are guilty of significant gossip from time to time. If you’re a woman, it may horrify you to know that your man (yes, even the most loyal man) has splayed you and every other woman out to his friends’ imaginations from time to time. Most men usually reel in those discussions when feelings or a serious relationship takes place. But make no mistake about it. Your man has discussed everything from your cup size to what kind of rhythm you maintain in the sack. Men are just nasty like that.

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Oh, but don’t think it gets better for women. In fact, it gets worse. Waaaaaay worse. Most women talk to their girlfriends about intimate stuff. But unlike men, this talk doesn’t stop when a relationship with said hottie commences. This can go on through dating, engagement and a 30 year marriage! And for you guys reading this, let me be clear. We’re talking sexual, emotional, fights, and intimacy. Yeah, I know. Shut up, right? Lol!

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Now, knowing that men gossip and women gossip, we can pretty much prepare ourselves in how we deal with this. Most women chalk it up as boys will be boys. Most guys shrug off the girlie gossip and make mental note to never walk into a room when her crew is there. When you expect gossip on certain levels, you deal with it. It’s not too big a deal for most people. Men are from Mars and women are from Pluto, so we handle it as best we can.

But there is an exception to the rules I’ve outlined. That exception is…. THE BIG MOUTH!

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I know you’re thinking,
“How can it be any worse than what men and women already gossip about?”
Believe me. It can be a whole lot worse. THE BIG MOUTH is a person that literally doesn’t have any sense of respect for anything told to them by anyone. Mother, friend, lover, coworker… They just don’t care. If you roll up on them with any type of interesting tidbit, it’ll be broadcast citywide within 2 hours. Having trouble in the bedroom? Her whole crew knows the next morning. You were abused as a child? He told all his coworkers yesterday. You had an abortion in high school? He told his mom and dad. You’re into being dominated by women? She told all her friends.
Yeah, they can get really, really cutthroat.
THE BIG MOUTH does not care about your feelings. They see things through the scope of a day time soap opera. The adrenaline of getting that new piece of juicy gossip is all they hunger for.

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And being in a relationship with THE BIG MOUTH? Forget it. All your dirty laundry is consistently on the street. No matter romantic or personal, they just can’t keep it in. F** Your Feelings. For Real.

So, what should you do if you’re in a relationship with THE BIG MOUTH? How do you navigate always having your personal business aired out?

Here are 3 Things You Should Do When Your Lover Has a Big Mouth:


1. Have a Serious Discussion: Even though your lover may have exhibited their inability to hold personal things away from the public, if you’ve never expressed how you feel about it (this is a rarity of course) then how will they ever know? You can’t transmit relationship rules like you’re Professor X. Sit down with them. Chop it up. Tell them how you feel about having sensitive information exposed. Talking is always first.

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2. Withhold Information: You know what? In my younger days I once dated a woman that had a lot of ultra-nosey friends. To make a long story short, my girlfriend at the time asked about my measurements, I told her I didn’t know, she broke out a ruler and promptly conveyed the measurements to many of those friends. When I discovered that she told her whole crew (of which I saw on a regular basis in social settings) I was more than a little uncomfortable about it. Bottom line? If you know someone has a mouth big enough to fit a 2 and ½ ton truck into, it may be best to withhold certain things. Many people will say that you shouldn’t withhold anything in a relationship. But have them explain to you why it’s cool that your boyfriend’s whole office knows you’re late on your period. If after you’ve had a conversation with someone about privacy and they continue to violate, you have no choice but to protect yourself. And that’s starts by controlling what you choose to divulge.

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3. Give Them a Taste of Their Own Medicine: No one is saying you should transform yourself into this garbage mouthed person. But maybe it wouldn’t hurt to give them a taste of their own medicine. Get the most personal thing you can think of and dump it like malware on someone they regularly interact with. But here’s the trick. Let them know after you’ve done it. Tell them exactly the reason you feel like getting revenge. Maybe this will shock them into compliance. It probably won’t though but a little revenge feels good sometimes.

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It really depends on what your tolerance level is for this individual. People don’t break bad habits easily and you very well may be in a relationship with someone that refuses to change their ways. If this is the case, it may be the best thing to end the relationship. No one should be subjected to continuous violations without consequence.